From time to time people say to me, “Sometimes I think I’d like to go on a cruise, but I’m not sure whether I’d like it.” So I thought perhaps I could offer some little guidelines to help you decide. It’s quick; it’s easy. If, after taking the quiz you still have questions, please fee free to ask me.
- Do you love getting tarted up and swanning?
- Do you enjoy cookies and hot chocolate at bedtime without having to get up to get them?
- Is one of your hobbies Vegetable and Fruit Carving?
- Do you love being surrounded by men in tuxedos, or, if male, love being a man in a tuxedo?
- Do you have a square shaped scarf? *
- Do you love making small talk with strangers?
- Are you thinking about turning your home into an art gallery?
- Do you hate to get dressed up?
- Does chatting with strangers over breakfast every morning sound like Groundhog Breakfast to you?
- Do wine waiters who are called Sommeliers get up your nose?
- Do you break out in hives if your cell phone can’t get a signal?
If you answerd yes to two or more of the questions in List A, then I’m thinking it’s time you get some sucky bags** and start organizing your formal wear. On the other hand, if you answered yes to any question in List B, you should just continue taking your holidays at that fishing lodge.
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* Having a square-shaped scarf with you is a requisite for attending the Scarf Tying Class on the Queen Mary II
**Sucky Bag n. Plastic bag which can be placed in a suit case, stuffed full of clothes, sealed, and a vacuum hose inserted into a special vent and all the air sucked out, thus reducing the bag to one third its original size. Repeat the process three times to triple the amount of stuff (and weight) you can cram into your bag. (CAUTION: When opening sucky bags, be sure to not open more than one at a time in a confined area; you could get trapped between a wall and the sucky bags.)