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Bunkum!  That’s what I say.  Whoever came up with the notion that people might want to “age gracefully”? I’m betting it was someone caring for an elderly parent who wasn’t behaving very well.  I’m also betting that when it comes his/her turn to be cared for, s/he won’t age so  “gracefully” either.

I, for one, haven’t aged gracefully at any stage of my life; so who thinks I’m going to start now?  Or, indeed, in twenty years when I start to get old?  What does “ageing gracefully” mean, anyway?  It sure doesn’t mean looking better on the dance floor, so I can only suppose it means Not Making Waves. Especially when it comes to children and grandchildren.  Ageing gracefully means never embarrassing your offspring.  Right.  Like they never humiliated us in public.  Or made demands.  Or made a fool of themselves just for the fun of it.  I get it:  no quid pro quo permitted.  It would be unseemly, right?   Wrong!  As I said before, “Bunkum!”

Don’t you just love the euphemisms to describe older people?  (Older than what?)  One of my favorites is being described as “of a certain age.”  Well, hells bells.  I reckon everyone is of a certain age.  Unless they were born out of the reach of Civilization as represented by Births, Deaths, and Marriages.  Or unless their name is John or Jane Doe.  The rest of us know our age.  My own age is approximately 65 years,  41 days and 5 3/4 hours.  The only thing uncertain about it is whether to count the time and date in Australia or in Kansas City.   I think I’m younger if I count it in Kansas City.         That’s it for me.  I’m starting to get palpitations just thinking about it.     MM