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It seems that lately my life is constantly interrupted by my cats.  It occurs to me that there may be people out there who are considering getting a cat, so perhaps it would be useful for me to offer some words of wisdom born of my escalating experience.


Ten Things You Should Know Before You Acquire a Cat
in no particular order of importance

  1.  You won’t get to be boss any more.  Cats are the original control freaks; it goes without saying that the Top Dog will now be a cat.
  2. Re: scratching posts –  save your money.  You’ll need it to get the furniture re-upholstered.
  3. Cats are vindictive.  You will never win in a dispute with a cat.  Get over it.
  4. Long-haired cats are undoubtedly the most beautiful of all cats.  Only the totally clueless would have one.
  5. Two cats are better than one.  At least, there are twice as many.  It’s really sweet when they are curled up asleep together, or grooming each other.  Not so sweet when they are fighting to the death.  That’s the main reason I have to yell at them.  It sort of reminds one of when the kids were still at home.  
  6. You’ll need to get movement sensors installed to open your doors automatically.  Cats like to have doors opened for them.  Tiny door flaps just aren’t dignified.
  7. You’ll never again wonder what to do with your free time;  you won’t have any.  Any time you have left after shopping for their food, toys, kitty litter, taking them to the vet, etc.  will be spent cleaning out the litter tray,  vacuuming up hair, playing ‘catch the mousie’ with them, or, more commonly, making a lap for them so that they can have their nap.   And, of course, opening doors, if you haven’t yet had the automatic sensor installed.
  8.  Cats always know which of your visitors hates cats and will go straight to that individual and jump on his/her lap.
  9.  Cats know what you are thinking. 
  10.  Cats are prone to fetishes.  Shoe fetishes are popular.
 I’m sure this is not an exhaustive list  of the things you might like to have known before you decided to get a cat, but it’s a start.  Perhaps others can add their advice.
  

If you live alone, especially if that is a recent development, you are probably contemplating getting a cat because loved ones and friends are telling you that you should. “A cat would be good company for you,” they’ve said.  It’s true.  But the main thing they are saying, if you could read between the lines, is that “a cat would keep you fully occupied.  All of the time.”   If that appeals to you, you really should have a cat.

 
Just a word about my own two moggies, Sophie and Pigeon.  Smelly.
 
Haha, only joking.  Being indoor cats, they do create rather a lot of ‘odor issues’ for me to deal with, but all in all, they’re worth it.  Sophie is a 5 YO female — a little madam who minces around like the Queen of the May, carrying her very luxurious, fluffy tail like a train.  Disney would give her four little mice to carry the train for her. 
 
 Sophie
 
  Sophie
Pigeon is a young male, named after a cricket player whose reputation amongst his team mates is as a serial pest, and whose nickname is Pigeon because of his pigeon-legs.  I knew my kitten was destined to become a serial pest, so I figured I should name him after a World Class pest, Glen McGrath. 
 
Pigeon watching cricket -- he was a fan from an early age.
 
 
Pigeon watching cricket — he was a fan from an early age.
 
I got both Sophie and Pigeon at the same time from the cat home; Sophie was an adult, Pigeon a wee kitten.  He’s now huge; a ginger tom that still is a kitten at heart, but in body is a very muscular, long-legged boy.  He, too, has an amazing tail.  I’ve never seen one like it.  It’s unusually long, and almost looks prehensile.  He keeps it in constant motion, twisting and curling it into endless question marks.  I think he’s as proud of it as Sophie is of hers.   They really are a pair.        MM
 
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