“Oh.My.Dog,” I hear you say. “She’s not really going to talk about that, is she?” Well, yes, friends, I am. I lied about the eloquent part–it certainly won’t be that. But I shall try to be as…delicate as I can. Those of you who thought I was going to write about someone from Brazil should probably turn to the Archives and find another article to read.
Perhaps I should explain why I’m writing about The Brazilian: it’s all in the name of Research. Truly diligent writers do all sorts of things in the interest of descriptive accuracy, and I am about to write a scene in my current book that involves The Brazilian. It isn’t something you can ask someone to describe in detail, nor would I want to merely speculate about it. So I have scheduled an appointment for about an hour and a quarter from now. I’m thinking I might take a couple pain killers in advance. A couple drinks would have been better, but I have to drive.
Back in early January I wrote a piece about going into a tanning salon for a spray-on tan. (Do Not Sweat For Five Hours) One reader suggested I get a Brazilian, and report on it. I think I suggested she do the job and I would happily publish the link to it. That’s after I said I’d sooner jump off a cliff… (I hope you are reading this, Clare!)
Several years ago I saw a cartoon that I thought was especially hilarious. It showed a beauty salon with a big sign in the front window: SPECIAL! BRAZILIAN WAXING Then off to the side, toward the bottom was another, smaller sign: Senior Discount Applies. Silly me. I thought it was funny then, but now I’m not laughing. Nevermind. It has to be done. I shall report back shortly. Stay Tuned. MM
P.S. There will be no pictures.