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“Oh.My.Dog,” I hear you say.  “She’s not really going to talk about that, is she?” Well, yes, friends, I am.  I lied about the eloquent part–it certainly won’t be that.  But I shall try to be as…delicate as I can.  Those of you who thought I was going to write about someone from Brazil should probably turn to the Archives and find another article to read.

Perhaps I should explain why I’m writing about The Brazilian: it’s all in the name of Research.  Truly diligent writers do all sorts of things in the interest of descriptive accuracy, and I am about to write a scene in my current book that involves The Brazilian.  It isn’t something you can ask someone to describe in detail, nor would I want to merely speculate about it.  So I have scheduled an appointment for about an hour and a quarter from now.  I’m thinking I might take a couple pain killers in advance.  A couple drinks would have been better, but I have to drive.

Back in early January I wrote a piece about going into a tanning salon for a spray-on tan. (Do Not Sweat For Five Hours) One reader suggested I get a Brazilian, and report on it.  I think I suggested she do the job and I would happily publish the link to it.  That’s after I said I’d sooner jump off a cliff…  (I hope you are reading this, Clare!)

Several years ago I saw a cartoon that I thought was especially hilarious.  It showed a beauty salon with a big sign in the front window:  SPECIAL! BRAZILIAN WAXING Then off to the side, toward the bottom was another, smaller sign: Senior Discount Applies.  Silly me.  I thought it was funny then, but now I’m not laughing.  Nevermind.  It has to be done.  I shall report back shortly.  Stay Tuned.       MM

P.S.   There will be no pictures.

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