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Last week it was pigs getting the munchies; this week it’s hugging livestock.  I hope you don’t get the idea that I have some sort of fixation on farm animals. The  fact is, I don’t really know much about them–mostly just what I read, or eat.  I occasionally get a bit of a Farm Report from one or the other of my sons.  Adam (AKA Badger) has a giant puppy–a seven month old Newfoundland,–two goats and a cat;   Randy has one goat, six cows, a bull, numerous chickens, two dogs, a cat, and a house rabbit.  My own experience is very limited, but I’m always willing to learn.

The reason I raised the issue of cow hugging is that I recently read an interesting  article on Bucketlist Publication entitled An Alternative Kind of Fun: Cow Hugging, by  Ingrid D.  In it the author gives detailed instructions on how to go about hugging a cow.  It isn’t as straightforward as you might think.  I think the cow has to be willing and knowledgeable about the whole thing as well.  My impression is that one doesn’t simply go up and try to hug just any cow.  It’s all a bit like explaining to a 14 year old boy how to kiss a girl for the first time.  Some are welcoming, others not so much, and it helps to know which are which.

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It seems that a farmer in Poppel, Belgium offers the opportunity for folks to hug one or more  of his dairy cows for a fee.  Customers are given full instructions on how to proceed, as well rubber boots and a pair of overalls.  Now I think that sounds like a nifty bit of lateral thinking!  And a nice little income stream.  The very next time I am anywhere near Poppel I definitely plan to indulge in a bit of bovine bonding.

For those of you whose taste runs toward the extreme sports, I would suggest goat hugging.  I don’t know if anyone has thought to offer that as a holiday adventure, but it might be an idea to check out.  Or not.  I don’t think the cow hugging approach would  be suitable for goats, however.  For example, cows are supposed to be approached from the front, whereas goats are likely to meet you head-on if you approach from them the front.  And their heads are adorned with some nasty horns, which they really, really like to use.  Goats are a bit deceitful, too.  They always appear to be smiling, but don’t believe it.  Look into their eyes. . .

Smile! You're on Goat-Pic!

Smile! You’re on Goat-Pic!

Getting back to the cows for a moment, the article says that not only can you hug the cows, but some of them will hug you back!  I confess, I can’t picture how that might happen, but I’m prepared to take the author’s word for it.  I’m not certain whether that happens before, after, or during the time when you are lying on it’s belly.  There is also a description of being kissed by a cow.  But I don’t want to even think about that. . .

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Actually I think you are supposed to lie on her belly, not under it.

On the other hand, I can’t see why anyone should be put off by a little cow lick — lots of people (me NOT included) are quite happy to have their dogs lick them in the face and mouth.  That’s much more revolting.  At least cows don’t lick their own bottoms.

MM

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